Did you hear the one about the politician who criticized a President for infidelity while he was cheating on his own wife, and then decided to run for President himself? No, it’s not a joke. It’s Newt Gingrich.
See, back when Bill Clinton was President, and the Monica Lewinsky affair became public knowledge, Newt Gingrich was one of Clinton’s most vocal critics. Turns out, he was having an affair of his own at the time. But it’s totally okay because Newt didn’t criticize Clinton for his affair. Oh, no! That would be too easy, too obvious, and yes, too hypocritical. No, what Newt got down on Bill for was the lying. That’s why Newt had to lead the charge for impeachment.
But even then, it wasn’t just because Bill Clinton lied about not having “sexual relations with that woman.” It was because he was an elected official, and lied about not having “sexual relations with that woman.” And not just any elected official—the President, no less! Well, Newt just couldn’t stand for that.
And that’s why Newt is taking steps to avoid the same kind of scandal should he be elected President. He’s taken the brave step of signing a no-adultery pledge. I mean, come on, how many politicians have done that?! The vows he made to his wife just weren’t enough for Newt. Nope, he signed a pledge, people.
But wait, there’s more! You may have heard that Newt Gingrich appears in a new Ashley Madison ad. A billboard, to be exact. It’s true. We at Ashley Madison couldn’t be happier to help further the political career of a man who not only admits his affairs, but says part of the reason he had them was because he’s just so passionate about serving the American people. How could we not endorse that? It would just be unpatriotic.
Just think what might have happened if Ashley Madison ads had been around when Clinton was President. Or JFK. We could have worked wonders for those guys, don’t you think?
You can hear Newt explain his motives in his own words:
Look it. Im thinking all you complainers are wives who dont pay no attention to your hubsbands. Get over it. Men like extra sex. Women like. Extra sex. If you aint giving him what he wants and needs then I do. My man gets tired. He works real hard all day. He dont get to have my kind of flex scheedule and he knows i love oral. Eatin aint cheatin where i comee from! I live near a big city now but – am proud of my nickname- the mouth of the south. 1 cause Im from Louisiana and 2 I love to go down. Honesty. Just except that if you wont – someone like me will shave it smooth and give him lunch afterward.