There's this idea that love is supposed to be the pillar of a marriage, but in modern days we have come to see that this is not always the case. Love might be a defining factor, but as more marriages fail and always for different reasons we're beginning to see marriage as a more complicated issue. Happiness is something that we're all searching for and in a world where everything is moving at a breakneck speed, it is seemingly becoming harder to find. We have more material wealth than the kings of yesteryear, but we’re still unhappy in many ways.
So how can we become happier?
There are studies that recommend gratitude as the best way to become happy. Don’t let those bitter, resentful feelings rise up inside of you and take over. We believe this, but you want to make sure that you’ve got a good balance. Being grateful will bring a temporary rise in your happiness, but when your happiness is so closely tied to someone else’s as it is within the bonds of holy matrimony, you need to take a few more things into consideration.
So what are the most important things to keep in mind when trying to keep your marriage healthy?
Are we beating a dead horse yet? I feel like we’re beating a dead horse, but it’s all that we can say over and over again. The marriages that last the longest and in which people are the happiest are the ones where communication is clear, concise and constant. Yes, there is such a thing as over sharing, but when it comes to marriages this is rarely the reason that they fall apart. Keep communicating with your spouse or affair partner in order to make sure that you’re getting what you need and that they are getting what they need as well. If everyone’s getting what they want, then it’s going to be easier for you to be happy.
There are things that are so hard to understand or even harder to accept. Say your spouse comes to you and says that they’re bicurious? What would you do? For men, this is generally easier to accept of their wives, but there is a stigma against men who are bicurious when there really shouldn’t be. Try to keep your mind open and to at the very least be understanding of your affair partner or spouse. Sexuality is not something which is set in stone, our desires are fluid and grow as we get older so if your spouse wants to sleep with other people, don’t take it as a death knell to your marriage. Sleeping with other people might just be the compromise that keeps the two of you together.
It’s like that Take That song or any pop song about love, really. Love takes patience and if you truly love someone, you’re going to find that patience within you even if it feels impossible at the time. Whether you’re talking to a spouse or an affair partner, if the feelings are deep enough then you’re going to be able to do many things that you would have thought that you wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise. People aren’t perfect and if you keep picking apart the little things that they do wrong, you’re going to find that you’re miserable and that you’re making them miserable. We’re not saying to gloss over every single mistake because there are times when you’re going to find that you need to address these problems, just make sure you’re not making mountains out of molehills since that will just stress you and your spouse or affair partner out.