Those of you who have been having extramarital affairs for a long time (and even those of you who haven’t been), may be aware of the nice guy curse. We’ve all heard it before. You keep getting put into a friend zone by women and this can even happen when you’re looking for an extramarital affair. Now, the friend zone as a concept is a load of bullshit and chips, but if you’re meeting with your affair partners and still getting put down as someone who isn’t a realistic romantic prospect then there’s something wrong.
And it has nothing to do with the affair partners that you’re choosing. Instead, it has everything to do with you.
It’s tough, we know. It’s never fun to hear, but if you’re on an adult dating website geared specifically toward extramarital affairs and still unable to get what you’re looking for, then there’s something that’s wrong. So make sure that you’re keeping the following things in mind when it comes to meeting your affair partners:
1) Don’t proclaim yourself a nice guy.
This also goes for those who are going to say that they’re a smart guy, a sensitive guy and all those random labels that men will stick on themselves to attract women. If you need to go around saying you’re a nice guy, then you’re probably not that nice of one. If you need to trumpet that you’re smart rather than letting your intelligence speak for itself, then you’re not going to impress many people. Don’t try to force aspects of your personality onto your affair partner. They’ll make their own assessment of you and by repeating that you’re a nice guy, you are going to come off as a little bit desperate.
2) Don’t try to orchestrate the night perfectly.
There’s having a nice night out and then there’s showing off. Showing off will only work in your favour if your affair partner never knows just how much you’re boasting about your wealth or connections, so keep things simple and don’t try to impress your affair partner with extravagance. While we’re not saying that you should bring your affair partner to a McDonald’s, you can still have a wonderful evening without bending over backward to make sure that things go according to plan. The more you try to plan things out, the more stressed that you will become. This is going to make you seem uptight rather than thoughtful.
3) Remember that there’s give and take.
You might want to let your affair partner get to know you better, but rather than launching into a monologue it’s better to engage them in a conversation. If there’s some back and forth, the both of you are going to have a much better time than if you were just explaining certain bits of your own life. Pick someone to have an affair with that you’re genuinely interested in. If you pick someone for their body alone and aren’t careful, they’re going to see just how bored you are. So don’t waste both of your time with this. You don’t need to rush into an affair just for the sake of having one. You want to have a good one.