So you’re ready for your first date since you got married. This very first date can be the most daunting although meeting up with someone for the first time is always going to be a little hard on the nerves. Your dinner has been reserved and you’re dressed in a classy casual which is bound to impress. Your date looks great and it seems like you two are really making a connection and then you do something dumb like talk about your spouse which turns into a rant about how they’re really just making you feel like you’re unimportant.
Then you wonder why you never get a call back?
This is a scenario that could happen on any first date (as long as you change the word spouse to ex) and we all fall into these traps especially when things are going well. The more relaxed that we become, the more that we want to open up to the people that are around us and while this can sometimes lead to great things, you need to be careful about the impression you give on the first date. The first date isn’t the best time for big flaws. Small flaws? Sure. Bring them on, but for the bigger flaws or the inevitable talk about the spouses… You might want to wait until you know the person a little bit better.
For those of you who have been out of the dating game for awhile here are some simple tips to keep in mind while you’re getting ready.
A first date isn't the time to get wasted off of your ass or to smoke too much or even to eat a ton of food. Eat a little bit before you get there so you're not a ravenous wolf by the time that your date gets there. Especially be careful with the alcohol because it makes it harder for you to tell where the line is. Signals are important and if you're drunk, you're probably going to miss every signal. Also while we know that you want to talk about how the original Star Wars trilogy is a masterpiece that the prequels have been sodomizing since their release, maybe… keep that kind of talk about yourself to a minimum. You want to have a conversation and not a lecture.
You don't want to burden someone on the first date. While you can always go to friends to talk about your problems, you truly are burdening them if you do the same on the first date. This person doesn't know you well and after this fiasco, probably isn't going to want to.
If the server does something that pisses you off or if someone cuts you off in traffic, don't swear up a storm. It's a turn off and just makes you seem easily agitated at best and in need of anger management at worst.
No one wants someone who's going to be late on the first date. There's no excuse really. Traffic, bad subway connections… Nothing. When it's a first date, try to be early even if that means that you have to do some waiting. No one wants to end up missing each other because one affair partner was late. If you don't have everything scheduled out properly then you're going to end up looking as harried and rushed on the outside as they feel on the inside.
There will be plenty of time to check your phone, but keep it on silent and don't check it unless there's a good opportunity to. Doing it while you're standing up or waiting for her to come out of the bathroom is fine, but someone who is constantly checking their phone is jarring and gives the impression that whatever is on your phone is more important than they are.