On the blog, sex is a regular topic and one that we don’t shy away from, but even if you’re thinking about sex all the time, how often are you talking about it? We don’t mean with friends or comparing sex stories with other people about how you totally met the hottest guy on earth or the prettiest woman in the bar. We’re not talking about that Spider Man porn parody that gets passed around the office because it is equal parts arousing and hilarious. When we’re asking how often do you have sex talk, we mean with your affair partner.
Talking about sex is an important part of any affair. You need to be able to talk about sex candidly and with varying levels of crudeness in order to convey where any boundaries would be as well as to help get those pesky needs fulfilled. There is this idea that if you don’t talk about sex then you’re not going to have any trouble with it, that things will just work out on their own and nothing could be more wrong. Humans are not mind readers and being your affair partner doesn’t mean that they can read minds unless, of course, they are one of those telephone psychics.
Since most of us aren’t psychics for hotlines or the masters of cold reading, there is a much easier way to figure out what your affair partner would want from you in bed.
It’s a revolutionary concept, I know and some people might shy away from the idea of it, but there really is no easier way. Forget about looking for signals or trying to read body language right now. All of those are ways to discover something about your affair partner, but we’re looking for the easiest way and this is truly it. Rather than supposing what you think your partner is feeling, you can have a concrete explanation from them.
Maybe they don’t like blowjobs all that much or they would rather move away from the missionary position. All of these things can be discovered very simply by asking a couple questions. You don’t have to go straight to blurting out that you want to know their deepest and darkest desires first. Instead, how about asking the simple things like what sex position they like the most or asking them what they did the most sexually.
Considering that a lot of times when people are having affairs, it’s due to a lack of sex within their marriage it might also be prudent to ask if your affair partner would want you to deviate from the norm. You could also try sexting with them as getting someone to talk dirty to you over text or the phone is easier than having them do it on real life. When they talk about their fantasies through sexting, there is a good chance that those fantasies correspond with what they would want in real life.
Still too nervous to say anything? Well, you could always try to be more discreet about it and talk about it while in the heat of the moment. You can always dismiss anything you say that might have been embarrassing as you getting too into your affair partner to think straight. It will help stroke an ego and stop you from feeling so embarrassed about your dirty talking self.
But the point of the matter is that we’re all adults and sex is something we should be talking about regularly.
A how-to-guide can only help you so far. In the end, you need to seize your fear by the balls and toss it out of the way so you can learn what people like in bed.
It will make you better in bed, will make you seem more considerate because you want to listen and learn what your affair partner likes, and will help you to explore your own sexual fantasies.
You can’t lose!