Meeting people online carries certain risks. When you’re trying to be discreet on top of that, it’s a good idea to take a few extra precautions.
Remember when online dating first became popular? Aside from the stigma, which has long since gone away, there was the fear of stalkers and rapists lurking online, trying to lure unsuspecting men and women into danger. While those fears have calmed a bit, it’s still not outside the realm of possibility to meet strange people via online dating or affair sites. The Craigslist Killer case is just one example of what can happen if you don’t take a few simple precautions.
When you first make contact with someone on Ashley Madison, work on getting to know that person a little before you start giving away any personal details. Don’t talk about where you work, where you live, mention any family members by name, and you may even want to hold off on giving out your last name until you feel more comfortable. Definitely don’t share your home address. Even once you start an affair with someone, that’s just information they don’t need to have—ever.
This is not only a precaution for staying safe, it will also help you keep things on the down low. You don’t want your significant other picking up your cell phone and finding texts or voicemail messages from your new affair partner, right? Or looking at your mobile bill and finding a bunch of calls to and from an unfamiliar number. That’s just asking to get caught. Pick up a prepaid cell phone, and keep it somewhere private to prevent prying eyes, and feel free to give that number out. If things turn creepy, you can always get another prepaid phone. If you’ve used your regular mobile number, changing it will become a huge hassle.
Yes, you’re trying to be discreet and avoid getting caught by your spouse or partner, but that doesn’t mean you have to be stupid about it. The first time you meet your potential affair partner (and possibly even the second and third time), it has to be in a public place or you’re just asking for trouble. Just don’t go to a place you frequent. Choose a new place, preferably somewhere on the opposite side of town from where you live. Do not pass Go, do not go directly to a hotel room with a stranger. Duh. This is just common sense, and if you didn’t know this one, you shouldn’t even be on this site until you learn some safety basics, like not to take rides from strangers, either. Speaking of which…
You’re not here looking for romance, so get the idea of the gentleman coming to pick you up in his nice, shiny car out of your head right now. (Okay, admittedly, most of these tips are aimed at women, but they do work for men, too. You all know there are some scary biotches out there, amiright?) This isn’t to say the guy shouldn’t treat you with respect and have manners—he should. (Hear that, guys?) Just don’t treat this like a normal date. It’s not. Take your own car and meet each other wherever you decide to go. Then, if things don’t go well, you can leave whenever you want to, and you’re not at anyone’s mercy. Again, if I have to explain the dangers of getting into a car with a stranger, you’re in the wrong place and should just stay home.
Finally, just use your common sense. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t force it. Just leave. Nothing is worth risking your safety.