15 Jun Rules For Texting In A Modern Age
No one can deny that texting is a core part not just of dating or relationships, but of our everyday lives. The convenience of being able to talk to someone without having to call or retrieve messages is a hallmark of communication in the modern age. It does not come without its pitfalls, however. Texting is an incredible thing—take into consideration that it doesn’t hurt quite as much if you’re rejected over text message or it isn’t as nerve-wracking to ask someone out on a date. The biggest problem when it comes to text messaging someone is that it’s very hard to read someone’s tone. Sometimes you can come across as sarcastic without meaning to or you can sound too harsh. A lot of people rely on emoticons or “…” to help with tone, but that can make you sound hesitant or insincere. Using these sparingly is fine, but use them too much and you risk sounding like a teenage girl.
Texting is becoming more and more common when it comes to setting up dates. This is particularly true for online dating and hookup apps. Texting is simple, efficient and cuts out a lot of potential awkwardness. You can also text anywhere, anytime without the worry of being caught. It’s much easier to be subtle about the fact that you’re texting someone than to be subtle about a phone call. For all your boss knows, you’re running the numbers and not asking someone for their number.
We don’t recommend that you set the first date over text, however, unless you met online. It can be harder to get that certain spark that makes someone look forward to a date through a text. If you did meet online, make sure to ask for that first date before you get into a texting habit and lose the momentum of meeting someone new. No one wants a pen pal who has no intention of meeting up.
One key play when it comes to texting that you need to take note of is if you’re caught in traffic and are going to be a bit late, text them to let them know. You can also send out a text earlier that day or the night before just confirming that you can’t wait for your date later on.
When it comes to dating, texting is probably going to be a staple of your communication. You’re not going to be able to be online all the time to talk to your partner through instant messengers and texting is a discreet way to keep in contact. Everyone is on their phones these days so it doesn’t sound strange for you to pull out your phone to check a text. One thing you want to keep in mind, however, is that your texting will leave records behind. You want to make sure that you clear all of your texts with your partner regularly so that someone glancing at your phone won’t be able to see your intimate exchanges. You’re also going to want to make sure that you change the settings on your phone so it doesn’t save who you’ve frequently contacted.
If you have a date with someone, you’re not going to want to wait the three days to contact them that people used to advise in order to not seem desperate. If you wait three days, you’ve already lost your chance. No one has the time to wait that long anymore, and even if they did there’s nothing that shows a lack of interest more than taking way too long to get back to somebody. A recent survey by LoveGeist found that most people tend to get back to someone about a day and a half after they’ve had their first date. So don’t dawdle.
You don’t have to message them the same night and honestly, we wouldn’t recommend that for you, since it can come off as a bit desperate. Only do this if you’re positive that it went incredibly well or your date texts you first.
On that note, here are some things that you never want to do over text.
1. Cancel dates over text. The only time it’s acceptable to cancel a date over text is if you’ve already tried to call them and couldn’t reach them.
2. Fight over text. Fighting is hard and it becomes even more difficult when you can’t really read the tone of the person that you’re fighting with. In order to avoid this, just pick up the phone to call someone if you think things are going to end up in a fight. Better yet, tell them that you’re going to talk about it later. There’s nothing satisfying about a text fight and they tend to last longer than face-to-face arguments.
3. Break up with someone or end an affair over text. This is only acceptable if you’re on a strict NSA relationship and all you have between you is sex. Anything more and you’d better be picking up your phone. The only thing more cowardly than breaking up over text is breaking up over email. Just don’t.