13 Oct How Safe is Your Extramarital Sex?
Ashley Madison, the world’s leading married dating website*, surveyed more than 3,000 members to find out just how safe their sex is. According to the data, the ‘no glove no love’ policy is paramount among surveyed members as 76% say they use a condom during sex with their affair partner. If danger isn’t their middle name while surfing the wave of infidelity, it seems that safety sure is as Ashley Madison members caution on the side of safety when it comes to playing in the sheets.
Maybe throwing a condom on for an extramarital encounter makes people feel better about the act itself in knowing that they’re being safe – leading them to have a sense of limited risk by protecting themselves from of getting an STI. Ultimately it comes down to discretion, right? So, limiting any and all risks is the key force behind a successful affair. But how does this transfer to life within the marriage?
Cheaters don’t use condoms…with their spouse
When it comes to wearing a condom in the marriage, 71% of respondents said they don’t use a condom with their spouse. Some say condoms take away from sexual pleasure, others say they don’t need a condom because they’ve been with their partner for long enough to not worry about catching an STI. But are people who are married immune to catching STIs?
After months, years… or even days… of dating, people feel comfortable with each other and trust that they won’t give them an STI, so off comes the glove. Because infidelity can, and often does, arise out of feelings of emptiness – from missing something in their life or marriage that they feel they need – people pursue extramarital relationships at different times in their lives.
Now think about this. If you’ve not been using a condom with your spouse, like the 71% of our respondents, then decide to have an affair all the while continuing to have sex with your spouse, wouldn’t they be skeptical if you all of a sudden said “honey I think we should use a condom this time” after all these years? Safe bet says that’ll probably start an unwanted argument. Which may even get you caught.
So, when we think about it, the longevity of the relationship excuse for not wearing a condom doesn’t exactly cut it.
Related: Is hook-up culture a bad thing?
But on the sunny side more than three-quarters (76%) of surveyed members are using protection when their defying monogamy. Most respondents having extramarital sex are doing it safely and protecting their partner from the risk of STIs. Of course, transferring an STI to a spouse is a surefire way to have your infidelity exposed.
So, our members are doing two things right on the checklist for a successful affair: using protection to safeguard STIs, and using Ashley Madison to keep their adulterous efforts discreet.
The domino effect
It’s interesting to think about how important discretion is to adulterers and how often they worry about their extramarital endeavors being exposed. So, on the topic of safe sex, Ashley Madison asked members which worried them more – catching an STI or having their extramarital affair exposed? The results showed that 55% of respondents are more worried about catching an STI than having their partner find out about their indiscretions. Naturally, this makes sense as it would be difficult to hide an STI from a spouse, so preventative measures need to exist on all fronts.
For a lot of people, it’s easier to experience what’s missing in their marriage by experiencing it with someone else, discreetly, or sometimes openly, while keeping the marriage and family intact. Safe and protected extramarital sex will help keep this balance rather than disrupt it, but only if done properly.
Monogamy is not a natural tendency but rather a social construct. So, if infidelity is part of human behavior, it’s better to engage in it safely. Variety is the spice of life and if you want to keep that spice going alongside your marriage then make sure to wrap it up.
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*Based on the number of members who have joined since 2002