Now the new year isn't just about resolutions. It's also about letting go of the past and this is something that people don't tend to do as well. Whether it's a marriage that has failed or is failing, an affair that didn't go the way that you wanted to or even something as simple as a bad work day that just won't go away, we tend to dwell on things. Even the most forward thinking people will have that tendency to dwell since it's a part of human nature. We learn from dissecting and re-examining our past experiences. We figure out how to tackle the problems that we’re going to experience in the future through what we’ve experienced in the past. Our past experiences shape us, but we don’t need to let them define us.
So whether you’re trying to save a marriage or trying to change the way that your marriage is headed, you need to let go of the past. It’s something that we hear about therapists telling people all the time and while it can be easy to see why it needs to be done when you’re looking at someone else’s life, it can be hard to justify when we’re talking about our own. For some people, having an affair will seem like the only solution to a broken marriage, but when you’re engaging in an affair you need to be conscious of yourself.
Those who go into affairs without a certain aspect of self-awareness might find themselves having more trouble than they would have originally thought. They want an affair, there’s a website with a ton of other married people and all of them are looking for the same affair you are. It should be simple, right? Wrong. Remember that you’re going into this with other people who have their own baggage and past. It doesn’t matter while you’re on AshleyMadison.com or a more run of the mill dating website. People tend to carry their pasts along with them and this can cause clashes between you and your affair partner.
One way to combat this would be to keep all of your affairs as purely no strings attached engagements, but for those of you who don’t want to do so, what are your options? You need to look at yourself before you can go out and look for other people. This is true whether you’re single, married, divorced or any other type of relationship status. This is where the new year and letting go of the past becomes so important. All of those things that weighed on your mind last year, let them go. All of the small and insignificant things that most of us will bring into the new year with us, just cast them aside and try to start out this year with a blank page.
Letting go of the past can seem scary, but to let go of the burdens that you carry around with you you’re going to find that it’s more cathartic than you would have thought. A lot of stress can come from the past that you’re dragging around with you and you’ll find it easier to connect with other people or to not get stressed out by the new problems that you’re facing if you’re not constantly turning your reflective capabilities back onto yourself.
Life is short. Don’t waste it by letting yourself get mired in the past, falling victim to misplaced sentimentality or disregarding the options in front of you without even considering them.