Tally ho, adventure! We’ve talked about why you should seize the day, but not really touched on why we tend not to. We’re habitual creatures and one of our greatest coping mechanisms is to form habits so that we can quickly adapt to new situations. You probably didn’t even think of that as a coping mechanism, did you? Most people don’t as it’s seen as just something we do. When life throws you’re a curve ball, you fall back on your habits in able to deal with them. The same is true of affairs.
When people reach out to other people for extramarital affairs, it’s because they want to find something new. Perhaps they feel as if their life is in a rut or perhaps it’s simply that they’re bored, but the whole point of having an affair is to break something that has become habitual to you. In order to have an affair, however, you need to create new habits which will help you to prosper.
1) The first rule of extramarital affairs is that you don’t talk about your affairs.
It seems simple enough, but when we’re happy we want to share our happiness. Don’t do it. The more people who know, the shakier the ledge that you’re standing on becomes. Discretion is always the key.
2) Manage your time wisely.
Having an affair is adding an extra task to your day, so you need to find out where you can cut away some time. When are you just wasting your time and when are you not? Managing your time wisely will also help you to not overload yourself with affair-related activities.
3) Be yourself.
This is about you and your happiness, so don’t feel like you need to change yourself in order to have an affair. There are millions upon millions of people who are looking for an affair and by being honest about who you are from the beginning, you’ll have many more successful affairs.
4) Don’t let fantasies conflict with reality.
This is also a cautionary tale about letting your expectations mix with reality. You need to make sure that you’re keeping things realistic. Remember that the things you see in pornographic movies or in your mind are made perfect. Real life doesn’t work out that way, so go with the flow.
5) Seek out stress relievers.
If you find that your affair partner is making your life more stressful then stop seeing them. If you find that having affairs is having more negative effects on your life than positive ones, stop having them (or at the very least change your approach to them). You want to make sure that you’re adding positive influences to your life rather than negative ones or else the whole point of an affair is lose.
6) Be aware of your affair partners.
This means be aware of their needs, of what they’re looking for and don’t go searching blindly just because you think that the affair partner you’re chasing after is attractive. Looks aren’t everything, even in affairs, so you want to make sure that the two of you are compatible as possible when choosing your affair partners.
7) Spend time with your family.
Affairs naturally tend to take some time away from your family. Make sure that you give that time back. If that means that you’re going to have to cut back on your television time in order to go see your daughter’s hockey game or your son’s piano recital, then make sure that you do that. Many people who have affairs feel that it helps them to be better people around their families, particularly their children. Be one of those adulterers who gives back when they can.