There's a lot of ego that goes into being a guy, whether you want to admit it or not. Sexual prowess is key and it can be the undermining factor in your affairs and relationships. There are times when it's all too easy to let the ego do the talking rather than the mind and if you talk a good game, but can't deliver both of you are going to end up with a disappointing night. Never fear though, you just need to keep in mind that there’s more to you than your dick and how you have sex. Those things are important, we know that better than anyone, but it’s not all that a woman’s looking for.
The most important thing when it comes to your sexual prowess is not to lie about it, but also not to be too humble. Self-deprecation is funny, but if you’re joking about how lousy you are in bed, you’re more likely to turn off the woman you’re interested in rather than turn her on or make her think that you’re an amazing guy. Remember that the power of suggestion is a good thing, so keep your comments about yourself and your bedroom abilities positive when you’re around your affair partner.
There are some men who need their egos satisfied so badly that they say that knowing that they were better than another guy that a woman had been with was more satisfying than their own orgasm. Standing up and taking pride in your abilities to bring someone else pleasure is a good thing and we’re right behind that, but when it becomes a competition then you’re going to be too focused on the man you’re competing against rather than the woman that you’re with.
The thing about the ego is that it’s so primitive and so innate that most of the time you don’t realizing that you’re acting upon it. So how to calm those narcissistic moments down? Try the following things and see how they work for you.
1) Remember that it’s about you and your affair partner.
It might sound admirable to want to be better in bed than your affair partner’s spouse, but the best way to do that is to just be the best you can be and to lavish attention on your affair partner. If you focus too much on the spouses who aren’t in the picture, you’re going to make having sex more of a competition or a chore than the fun, spontaneous action that it should be.
2) Don’t beat yourself up.
Even though the ego is great for building yourself up, it also makes it so that we’re harder on ourselves when we fail the goals that we’ve set for ourselves or the ones that we think our affair partners have set for us. If you don’t have a great sex session, just file it away as a lesson learned and do better the next time. The old saying goes “Fall down seven times, get up eight” and you’re not going to be able to get back to your feet and do better if you’re too busy bitching at yourself for falling in the first place.
3) Check your ego.
One of the best examples of this is guys who like to cum on women’s faces. It’s not a particularly pleasant experience and unless the woman is one of those rare creatures who actually likes getting a load in the face, she’s just doing it for you. Now when asked why men liked doing these sorts of things, many men didn’t have an answer or at least not a clear one. They wanted to be in control, to leave their mark, but there was nothing that could explain why it was that act which made it satisfying for them. Did they find the look of their own cum attractive? Not particularly and no one looks at their best when they look like they’ve been fighting with a ghost and are covered in ectoplasm. So why do it? Why have that finish? The Ego (and porn) is what’s dictating those actions, making you feel more like a man by degrading (however slightly) someone else. So think about why you do things. If you don’t have any real answer for why you do something, it’s probably better to not do it.