You thought that everything was going great, you have the wonderful wife and the 2.5 children that are the norm of the Nuclear family model, but then your wife decides that she’s never in the mood. She’s not old enough to have hit menopause, but whenever you try to start something you hit a dead end. This could mean the end of your relationship or the start of an extramarital affair, but let’s look at some of the reasons why a woman would stop having sex in the first place.
These are a few of the reasons why a woman would stop having sex with you, but all of them take communication from both of you. You need to be able to find out what’s going wrong so you can take the right course of action. Don’t go off of signals, don’t try to talk to her friends about it and don’t try to analyze your way into what you think is the right choice. You need to talk plainly to the woman in your life and make sure that you listen carefully or you might just make everything worse.
Put the worst in first and this is a death knell for any relationship. Whether it’s a lack of attraction or a feeling that she’s looking for something better, it’s hard to fake attraction for someone over a long period of time. Sex for women is only partly physical. A large component of a woman’s arousal is mental and when that mental connection fades, the physical aspect of your relationship will too. In this case, the lack of sex can serve as a warning sign for you since it will come coupled with distraction, irritability and a general off feeling. Physical intimacy is a cornerstone for most relationships so the lack of it will have the foundations decaying. In cases that are far gone, there is little that can be done when your relationship hits this stage.
Sometimes the sex can get boring and while there are ways to spice up your sex life, sometimes it just stays boring. There’s no fault to either participant, you just can’t get the motors running like you used to. A lack of sexual chemistry is something that breaks down a lot of relationships, so if you’re not doing it for her we’d suggest talking to her about it first. Ask what’s wrong, see if you two can find some kind of way to make the sex fun again for the both of you. When a relationship rekindles, those sparks will burn hotter than ever, but it you can’t communicate about it then there’s nothing that can be done beyond saving what can be saved and deciding if you two still want to be with each other.
Remember how we said that arousal for a woman is also mental? This still holds true and when she’s angry, she’s not going to have an easy time sleeping with you. It can be hard to push past those emotions to get into a good mental state for sex. So if she’s not sleeping with you and has been shorter with you than normal, you can ask if you’ve done something wrong. If she hesitates or shows any signs that she might be hiding a grievance then keep talking to her about it and pushing, albeit gently. This way you’ll be able to find out what’s going on and more importantly, how you can fix the bridge that you might have burned up without even knowing about it.
There are some women who just don’t enjoy sex as much as others and if that’s because of bad experiences before you can fix that by being different. Find out her sexual history and what the other’s did wrong. Then do it right. You’ll see a change pretty quickly, but you’ll have to be gentle because most of the times when anyone’s had bad sexual experiences in the past, it damages their self esteem. If their self esteem isn’t at 100% it can be hard to feel sexy even at the best of times. In other cases, some women just don’t like to have sex. There’s no rhyme or reason for it, they’re just not interested in sex and what it has to offer. When they’re having sex, they’re generally having it for your sake rather than their own. You can do what you want with that and decide whether that’s something that the two of you can work past.
Is it a stressful time? Have there been more problems at work or has something else happened that could set off waves of emotion and stress? Stress is tiring and when you’re stressed, it can be hard to get aroused. So if there’s a woman in your life who’s constantly moving and just can’t seem to get in the mood for sex, sometimes a little rest and relaxation is all that you really need. Get her to take some time off and make sure that you make her feel like she can let everything go. Sharing the load can help her to feel better and for the both of you to get your eventual rocks off. Sex is great for de-stressing, but unfortunately you need to be in the mood to be able to well… get in the mood. A relaxing weekend away might be just what the doctor ordered.