Why Women Are Cheating

Why are women cheating? Do women love sex as much as men? Do women only cheat to get out of their marriages?

Prepare to have every myth you’ve heard about female infidelity & sexuality flipped upside-down!

When it comes to female sexuality, there are a multitude of myths that exist. Many stem from the idea that women are less sexual than men, but this could not be further from the truth. Female sexual desire is just as powerful as male desire and those who believe this myth may have their own troubles in the bedroom.

We decided that it was time to set the record straight by diving into the minds of our female members. Asked about their infidelity, Ashley Madison’s female members revealed surprisingly blunt truths about their habits, feelings, and behaviors.

Titled The Good Wife Study, it surveyed more than 2000 female members and shreds misconceptions about female infidelity while uncovering the truth. The questions’ topics ranged from sexuality, guilt, and infidelity. The result is a new paradigm of women are having affairs and their ability to control their own narrative. The results show that the narrative is shifting; that women are able to have affairs and control their own truth. Now let’s break it down – myth by myth.

Myth #1: Women don’t get bored of monogamy

Men aren’t the only ones that get tired of being with the same partner, and seek exciting sex outside of their marriages. Of course, women get bored! They are cheating to get the thrill and sexual attention that’s missing from their marriage. Being lonely and bored in their union was the primary reason for cheating for more than a quarter of the study’s respondents. The second most common answer? More satisfying and adventurous sex. It looks like men aren’t the only ones who stray for excitement.

This is not the only proof that women get bored with monogamy. Nearly two-thirds of respondents answered that they have become less attracted to their spouse, which is great news for the 36% of men who are still considered attractive by their wives.

Women getting bored of monogamy may not exactly be new information, but they do get bored at the exact same rate that men do. That 7-year itch that married men get? Turns out women get it too! The average respondent had their first affair 7 years into their marriage. Respondents also noticed a decrease in sexual frequency 5-years into their marriage, and a decrease in sexual quality 6-years in.

Turns out women are as bored of monogamy as their male counterparts, if not more.

Myth #2: Marital sex is enough for women

It’s commonly believed women need to be in a committed relationship to enjoy sex. Could spouses themselves be perpetuating this myth? While this may be true for some marriages, for the vast majority of women in committed unions marital sex alone isn’t enough.

Do you know the expression “If you’re not having sex with your spouse someone else is.”? Well, it’s almost the complete truth. Add one thing: if you’re not having good sex with your wife someone else is. The study shows that cheating women aren’t satisfied with their marital sex and the following statistic may show why.

A shocking number of men are not giving their wives orgasms or oral sex. More than a quarter of respondents said their partner rarely makes them orgasm, while another 11% said their partner has never made them orgasm.

It’s not difficult to make the connection between lack of pleasure and infidelity. Can you imagine devoting your whole life to someone that can’t make you orgasm? Women need a sexual outlet and there are many finding it in their affairs.

The statistics get even more revealing when you look at the number of men who go down on their wives. Nearly a third of women said their partner rarely goes down on them. A whopping 15% say that it’s never happened in the entirety of their marriage.

It could explain why women on average rate their sex lives with their spouses a 4/10, and sex with their affair partners a 7/10. A 4 out of 10 is a fail – no wonder 64% of women say that they feel sexually neglected in their marriages. Marital sex is not enough for women.

Myth #3: Women feel guilty about their sexuality

There is a myth in the ethos of infidelity that states women feel a lot of guilt for having an affair. The reason being is that men are said to think with their phallic organs while women think with their hearts. This leads to another myth that women get more attached while men are more interested in casual sex.

The study finds women don’t feel guilty for cheating! More than two-thirds of respondents (68%) said that they don’t feel any guilt for having an affair. This is despite 62% of respondents thinking that having an affair is wrong ethically.

Interestingly, women do feel like they are being judged more harshly for infidelity than men. Nearly all respondents (92%) agreed that they feel more judged for their infidelity. Water is wet, fire is hot and female sexuality being more controlled and harshly judged is nothing new. Regardless of the public’s harsh judgment, the respondents don’t feel guilty. Good for them!

MYTH #4: Women are cheating as a way to leave their marriage

Anyone who has been in a sexless marriage understands love does not always equate to sex. If sex is not equivalent to love, it’s possible to have an affair and still love your spouse. You see, there are many different types of affairs:

Types of Affairs

Can-Openers
An affair with the objective of getting caught and ending your relationship. It’s usually obvious with little attention to hiding the details.

Opportunistic
An affair that results from one thing leading to another with a platonic relationship or a random encounter, regardless of the original intent.

Adventure
An affair you choose to have for its thrill and excitement.

The assumption is most affairs are opportunistic, but many affairs start with a clear intention of having one. The myth is women are more likely to choose to have a can-opener affair than men. This stems from the idea that women are more emotional and for them, cheating signifies a loss of love. Almost three-quarters of respondents (74%) still love their spouses. This is despite the fact that they are cheating on them. Turns out there are a lot more adventurers than can-opening women out there.

The most unexpected finding was the effect of having an affair on a marriage. While most assume having an affair will ruin a marriage – this is not always the case. For 31% of respondents, there is less tension in their marriage now than before their affair. More than a fifth (22%) say their marriage is actually happier now than before they chose to cheat. Could it be that releasing sexual tension through an affair can actually save a marriage? Who knew? Oh wait, women do!

Myth #5: Women are less sexual than men

At this point, the study has debunked this myth, but let’s drive the point home anyway. Women are cheating for sex, women want sexual pleasure, and women like the same crazy sex stuff that men do!

Let’s begin with an obvious myth – women masturbate less often than men. Wrong! Most women masturbate on a regular basis, in fact, 62% of women do so more than once a week. Another myth is that women don’t watch porn. Survey says 45% of women watch porn or read erotica more than once a week. What about sex toys? Same story, 41% use sex toys more than once a week.

What about sex parties? Most of the respondents (95%) stated had either considered going to or had gone to a sex party.

Women are as interested in sex as men – but women much prefer good sex. Think of sex as pizza. Women are selective with their slice of pizza. They want a pizza that cares about her needs, makes her feel pleasure, a long slice of pizza with a killer body. Women may be ‘married’ to a pizza place that no longer can satisfy them and resort to rolling their own dough. Once they realize they control their hunger needs they may start visiting new pizzerias to get a slice that can satisfy them.

The point is women like sex, they like marriage, and they like having affairs. Don’t like it? They don’t care.

The belief that women are more emotional than men won’t disappear overnight. There are still going to be those who believe that women don’t like casual sex, but every day there are fewer and fewer believers. For now, know this; Everyday, women are realizing more and more it’s ok to enjoy casual sex. If women want to sleep around with men, watch porn, and be comfortable with their promiscuity – they can. While the contrary narrative won’t go away soon, women don’t have to live by its confines. So for all the women out there, have fun, prioritize your pleasure… Life is short. Have an affair.