Have you ever noticed how nice women are when they’re at work? There are a few exceptions of course, but they smile more easily and respond better to your comments than they would when you’re at a bar. You might, thinking about things this way, decide that hitting on women while they’re at work would be the best way to go about finding affair partners. Who could blame you after all? That woman was so kind when she rung up your order and you felt like you were getting all the right signals.
So why did she demure when you asked her for her number?
You weren’t taking a key factor into consideration when you were working through your equation and that’s the fact that these women are at work.
It’s rare to have any kind of career that doesn’t involve some form of customer service or catering to the needs of the customer. People who are friendly while at work may not be so friendly outside of it simply because they know who they need to be when they step out in front of the customers. This is especially true for those of us who work in retail and who are constantly dealing with customers face to face. Generally being pleasant and attentive to a customer works wonders to diffuse a situation that could have become nasty or even prevent it from happening in the first place.
An attitude like this means that you’re going to find yourself hitting on women at work who do not want to be hit on for the following reasons:
1) Being hit on at work is awkward because there’s nowhere for the employee to go. They are paid to stand there and listen to your concerns or they need to stay where they are to assist other customers. So while you might think that the woman you’ve been hitting on is staying because she desperately wants to have an extramarital affair, it’s more likely that she’s being friendly because that’s a part of her job.
2) It puts the employee in the awkward position of offending you or lying to you. If you’re telling a girl that she’s pretty it may be a compliment that she genuinely appreciates, but if you move it further than that she is either going to have to continue to be friendly in order to spare your ego and the potential sale or risk offending you. There are people who when they are offended (even if it’s because they were being inappropriate to a salesperson) will lodge complaints against that employee so it’s necessary to be careful. This is true even if you’re talking to a customer support person on the phone, while it’s nice to be thanked for doing a good job it becomes very awkward when you tell someone that their voice is sexy or ask if they’re married.
3) They’ve heard it all before. Think of all the people that someone who is in retail or customer service deals with on a regular basis. Out of them, some people are going to hit on the women they find attractive whether it’s inappropriate or not. So if you’re telling someone that they’re beautiful or that their voice is sexy, they’ve heard it before. While it’s true that you might have a better chance than the man before you if you’re looking for an affair rather than something more long term with some people, there are very few things you can say that are original.
Just start a conversation instead. Don’t turn it to sex or to the person’s attractive qualities as that can become creepy fast. There is a chance that people will want to date you even if they met you in their workplace, but if this is the only time that you’re going to be seeing them or talking to them, we’d say give it a pass. You don’t know the person well enough to read any signals yet and rather than making their day, there’s a strong chance that you’ll end up making them feel uncomfortable.