While everyone on earth is social distancing and quarantining, it’s important you spend time focusing on something that will keep you sane through all this chaos: Sex. People with affair partners, partners they aren’t with, and partners that you’ve recently met online will need to adapt to your sex life.
COVID-19 means no more one-night-stands, no-strings-attached sex, and physical affairs, but it does mean a lot more virtual sex! According to a recent survey of our members, more than a quarter (27%) of Ashley Madison members are switching over to virtual affairs. In the same survey, nearly a third (29%) of Ashley Madison’s female members reported that they are now having virtual affairs. Are you looking for virtual sex tips? Read on to keep things exciting during the lockdown!
What is Virtual Sex?
Virtual sex covers any sexual acts done through an electronic device and usually, when people refer to virtual sex they are talking about either phone sex or sexting.
Sext – Verb
The act of sending, receiving, or forwarding sexually explicit messages and photos between electronic devices.
“My husband is taking a nap. Want to sext?”
Phone Sex – Verb
The act of communicating over a phone call to arouse and to be aroused.
“While my spouse was sleeping I had phone sex in the living room.”
Phone sex and sexting are the most popular methods of sexting, but there are many other ways to have some virtual fun with your partner(s) or even solo. Whether you’re writing erotic blogs, exploring online roleplaying, or sexting, there are three rules apply to all virtual sex. Following these rules is crucial to the success of any virtual sex.
Basics of Virtual Sex
1. Be Comfortable
The most important aspect of virtual sex is that you feel comfortable. If you don’t feel comfortable sending a photo of yourself to another person, then don’t do it. If you’d like to send an explicit photo to your partner, ask for consent before sending it. Consent is sexy! Messaging “How would you like to see an x-rated photo of me? 😉 ” builds anticipation, makes your partner feel special, and is common courtesy. If you aren’t comfortable with any aspects of virtual sex make sure to communicate your boundaries to your partner.
2. Ensure Trust
Part of what makes sex so exciting, is the trust that two or more partners have for one other and the vulnerability they share. With virtual sex, that doesn’t change. You’ll be sharing intimate details and photos, so if you feel nervous, or have some reservations, ease into it. If you still feel like you can’t trust them, let them know you don’t feel comfortable going forward.
3. Find Privacy
If you’re not home alone, it’s important to find a moment when you won’t be interrupted. The last thing you want is your spouse or kids to catch you with your pants down having virtual sex! Take all the necessary precautions to ensure you hide the digital lipstick on your collar.
- Erase your history
- Hide or disguise your notifications
- Set up a new email address in a different name
- Use secure and discreet apps
While these precautions may seem like a lot of work, you’ll thank yourself later. Find out more in our Ultimate Guide to Keeping Things Sexy During Social Isolation.
Now that you know the three basics of virtual sex, it’s time to explore sexting. Many virtual sex situations will begin with sexting, and a lot can separate a good sexter from a bad sexter. If you’re new to sexting, here are 7 must-know tips.
1. Have a quick response time
It can be impossible to keep things hot and steamy if you’re only responding every 2 minutes. Before you start sexting, ensure you and your partner have free time to devote to a lengthy sext conversation. Make sure you give the conversation your unwavering attention. By responding promptly, you will set your sexting off on the right foot.
2. Start things slow
While it might be tempting to start with the sexiest questions, it’s in your best interest to save them for later. Sexting works best when there is an intense build-up, just like in real sex, so start with some verbal foreplay! Ask some establishing questions; what are they wearing, how are they feeling, what are their fantasies? The pictures you send should also escalate in intensity. Start with a cute selfie, a muscle or cleavage picture. See where things escalate from there.
3. Be specific
The more specific you are, the sexier things get. Don’t say “I want to f*** you”, instead, let your partner know how, where, and why. Tell them exactly what you find attractive about them in specific terms. Giving precise compliments like “Your _____ looks amazing,” can go a long way. If you’re describing a situation, don’t spare any details.
Incorporate sexy sounds as well – moans can be written as “Mmmm” and are a big part of sexting.
Here are a few examples to get your started:
“If I was there I would…”
“Mmmm, your ____ really turns me on.”
“I love thinking about your ____ on my ___.”
4. Don’t get hung up on the vocabulary
While it may feel strange sending graphic and sexual messages at first, use the words you would normally use in person. Get over your fears and use words like ‘cock’, ‘tits’, ‘ass’, etc. Your partner will appreciate it.
5. Let them know you’re having fun
While sexting, it can be difficult to know how your partner feels about the conversation. Messaging “You’re getting me so hot and bothered,” is an exciting way to let your partner know you’re having fun on your end.
6. Make it collaborative
A message like “Where would you touch me first?” makes sexting feel much more collaborative. Collaboration is much better than one partner describing their fantasy.
7. Establish a persona
An advantage of sexting is that you can be anyone. A cowboy, a nurse, a motorcycle gang member…The possibilities are endless! If you like roleplaying in the bedroom, you’ll love playing a persona while sexting.
Step Up Your Phone Sex Game
Now that you know all the tips for perfect sexting, you need to know what to do when sexting turns into phone sex. Whether, you’re dialing in or video chatting with a partner, it’s important to know the Seven tips for stepping up your phone sex game. Follow these tips to ensure hot and steamy phone sex.
If you’re a phone-sex virgin, your first time can be nerve-wracking, so stay stay relaxed. Be confident, after all, the person on the other side of the call chose you.
2. Say what you’re thinking
While sexting allows you to poetically craft sexual stanzas in your messages, phone sex is much rawer and requires immediate reactions. Say what’s on your mind at that moment. Honesty and openness are sexy.
3. Be vocal
The worst possible thing you could do during phone sex is be silent. Keep things fun with some erotic moaning or sensual whispering. The person on the other line needs to hear your excitement.
4. Use toys
Spice things up by bringing in toys. If you’ve never used an adult toy before, there’s no better time to start than with someone you trust on the phone. If you’re someone that uses sex toys, why not incorporate them into phone sex? Adult toys and phone sex go together like bread and butter.
5. Turn the lights off
If you’re nervous about trying phone sex you should try dimming the lights. Turning your lights off will not only set a sexy mood but will also help you relax.
6. Wear something sexy
Even if your partner cannot see you in your lingerie or sexy outfit it is still important to wear something that makes you feel attractive during your call. Wearing something sexy can help set the mood and can also make you more confident and attractive.
7. Make a confession
While you’re being open and honest why not let your partner know a secret fantasy or a sexual story you’ve never told anyone? Learn more about keeping lines of communication open with your partner here.
Keep your sex life active with these tips! Keep sane during COVID-19 and have the best virtual sex of your life.
Find out why so many other Ashley Madison members are switching to virtual sex.
- 5 Reasons Why There’s Never Been A Better Time To Start Married Dating
- 7 Ways to Prioritize Self-Love During Social Distancing
- Everything You Need to Know About Virtual Sex While Isolating
- 8 Tips to Make Your Relationship Social Distancing-Proof
- Ultimate Guide to Keeping Things Sexy During Social Isolation
- 5 Tips for Carrying Out a Discreet Virtual Affair