Skip to content

8 Sexting Do’s and Don’ts

    Sending someone naughty messages is a great way to liven up any conversation. Whether they’re your partner and you’re looking to spice things up or you’ve never met, sexting can take texting to the next level.

    Many members at Ashley Madison include sexting as something that they’re looking for. Sexting can be incorporated as part of the lead-up to a fantasy, as a method to build anticipation for a connection, or as an online-only chat relationship.

    Everyone’s Doing It

    Almost 90% of adults say they’ve sexted at least once according to research out of the Drexel University, with 82% saying they’ve done it within the last year. The same research found that sexting directly correlated with higher sexual satisfaction, a great reason to get your sexting game on point.

    The art of sexting can take some time to master. People either get too shy or come on too strong and vulgar, and the last thing your sexts should do is make anyone uncomfortable.

    We’re here to break it down for you with these eight tips:

    Start slow 

    Don’t: *unsolicited dick pic* which may cause the woman of your attention to hit delete—or block.

    Do: I’ve been thinking about you all day. I can’t wait to get home and slowly take off all your clothes.

    Initiate, but don’t intimidate

    Pay attention. The response from your sexting partner should be equally as sexy. If they start deflecting or changing the topic, don’t push your luck.

    While someone might have been totally down for some sexy texting, being too vulgar or pushy off the top could turn them off. Bad sext etiquette could cost you that potential date, or completely turn off your partner.

    Don’t: C’mon babe, what would you do to me?

    Do: What’s your secret fantasy?

    Keep your partner involved

    Make them feel wanted and desired and that they’re an integral part of your play, because they are! If you make it all about you and don’t reciprocate, or forget to keep them a part of the action, you run the risk of a premature ending to your conversation.

    Don’t: A paragraph of text featuring mostly “I” statements.

    Do: Back and forth exchanges that include statements and questions.

    Mimicry is the highest form of flattery

    Everyone has certain words or phrases that they use in the heat of the moment. If you know your partner well, listen for these words and repeat them back to them. Whether it’s something they use in everyday conversation, or phrases they whisper between the sheets, use them in your texting.

    If they frequently use words like “hot,” use it, and stay away from words they dislike as well as bad grammar. (We know it can be hard when you’re feeling all hot and heavy, but if they’re typing in complete sentences, you should be too.)

    Don’t: R U DTF?

    Do: It’s so hot when you do this to me…

    Up the fantasy factor

    If there’s something that you’ve been wanting to try, sexting can be a good ice-breaker. Whether you want to be tied to the bed posts or you feel that you’ve been naughty and deserve a spanking, tell them!

    If you’re sexting partner is a potential date, this could be a great way to broach the things that you’re interested in gently—ensuring that they already know what drives you wild before they even get you in the bedroom.

    Of course, if you met through Ashley Madison, your profile is also a good place to list your interests so that you can attract like-minded individuals.

    Don’t: So I’m sort of up for anything.

    Do: I love being tied up, so start practicing your knots!

    Just Don’t: Laughing
    Unless you’re clearly having a really out-there sexting session where you’re purposefully being over the top, never reply with “lol.” The last thing that someone who is being vulnerable with you wants is to feel like they’ve said something wrong. Especially through text, laughing can come across as laughing at them, and not with them.

    Be Descriptive
    Sending pictures can be a great way to get you both in the mood, and men especially are very visually stimulated, but you don’t want to overdo it. Instead of interrupting the flow of conversation to take and send selfies, use very descriptive text to explain what you’re doing right now.

    Don’t: Leave them hanging for half an hour while you take pictures.

    Do: Describe what you’re wearing, how you’re touching yourself, and how you want to touch them.

    Pro tip: Next time you’re getting ready to go out or lazily relaxing in bed on the weekend, snap some sexy shots that you can save on your phone to send during some hot and heavy texting.

    Make it real
    Sext with purpose and have an end goal in mind. You can always use sexting as a sexy pick-me-up randomly, but it could also be an intense session that leads up to meeting. Whether it’s a new partner or someone that you’re already dating, be clear what you’re looking to get out of this. Use the moment to plan a meeting, and be specific about the time and your intentions.

    Don’t: Message them when you know they can’t respond (dinner with their kids)

    Do: End with “So when are we making this happen IRL?”

    So, what are you waiting for? Test drive these sexting tips and your session will surely be steamy.

    About Ashley Madison is the original destination for married dating and the global leader for extramarital affairs. With more than 54 million member accounts worldwide since 2002, Ashley Madison is the premier destination for polyamoryopen relationships, and people in sexless marriages.

    All Posts

    App Store Google Play
    Facebook Icon Instagram Icon Twitter icon