The importance of trust when it comes to a relationship cannot be overstated. This isn’t something that people would think that would come into play too often when having a more casual or discreet relationship, but at its most basic level, it is something that people need to pay attention to. You want to make sure that you come across as someone who is attentive and trustworthy. While there are some people who would claim that these traits aren’t needed when someone is only interested in something casual, we’ve found it to be quite the opposite. Not only will being these traits allow you to find someone much more easily, but it’s going to make all of your relationships easier.
When there is trust, even a basic form of trust between partners, then you’re going to have a much easier time. The two of you are both aware that you are for the most part strangers, and yet you are able to foster a trust so long as you play your cards right. This will make your partnerships better—not just inside the bedroom, but also outside. The more that you trust each other, the more comfortable that the both of you will be.
So what can you do to foster a simple trust?
1) Keep your word.
If you say that you’re going to do something then do it. The person who keeps bailing on dates or who doesn’t message when they say they’re going to message is sending a very clear signal that they can’t be trusted to keep their word. While it may not be a message that all of us understand consciously, our brain is trained to pick up on these little signals and help us to process the world. This is the simplest thing that you can do the foster trust and many of us falter right at the gate by not knowing our limits.
2) Know your limits.
Don’t promise that you’re going to be around later that night if it’s going to be a hectic struggle. Don’t overestimate yourself and think that you’ll be able to cram more into a day than you’re actually going to be able to. It’s a lack of knowledge of their own limits that’s a stumbling block for many people who are trying to juggle multiple relationships. We tend to have an idealized view of what we’re able to take on and in doing so, we fall short of these expectations quite a bit.
3) Don’t promise too much.
This might sound like the easiest thing, but it’s one of the hardest. We’re so used to throwing out promises that we don’t even know that we’re making them half the time. Most of the time, other people don’t notice that we’re making them either, so we can keep getting away with making promises that we don’t keep. When you’re in a casual relationship though, or any married dating situation, the promises you make carry more weight and you want to make sure that you’re not promising that more than you can deliver.
All three of these steps tie into each other and you’re going to find that by fulfilling one, you’re unconsciously fulfilling another. Being more careful about the promises that we make isn’t just good practice for casual dating, but also within all our relationships, with our kids, coworkers, friends. While it can be difficult at the beginning, being more conscious about all the small promises you make will help to stop you from breaking the trust of the people whom you care about.
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