First dates can be nerve wracking.
While some dates are doomed to fail before they even begin, there are some simple things that you can do to prepare for your first meeting with your potential paramour.
Ensuring comfortable atmosphere, keeping up casual conversation, and maintaining that aura of effortless calm seems like the kind of advice you can never actually use in real life. These so-called tips are right up there with “just be yourself.” When someone says that, it makes it virtually impossible to actually just be yourself because you’re thinking too hard about who you even are!
Well, we’re here to turn that trite advice into actionable tips that actually make you and your date comfortable.
Pick the right spot
According to psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania, people know within the first three seconds whether or not they would like to sleep with their date partner, but moving successfully forward after those first three seconds requires clearly understanding the chemistry between the two of you. The atmosphere is important, and the type of experience you choose can determine how easy it is to get to know someone.
Dinner and drinks is the obvious go-to, but if you’re looking to give them a night they won’t forget, consider a more interactive event such as hiking or taking a course together. In environments where you’re moving around a lot, you have more opportunities and excuses to touch them and gauge their reaction to the closeness of your bodies.
Don’t limit yourself to one place, however. If you’ve decided to play it safe and met at a coffee shop, suggest a walk, or head out for some drinks so that you can can continue to build that intimacy.
Be bold and confident
This doesn’t mean booking a hotel room in advance, but take the opportunity to get close to them, ask questions about themselves and their life, and make moves to consciously flirt. If there are body language cues, such as touching, laughing, and angling their body towards you then they’re flirting back with you, and that’s your signal to go in for the kiss.
If the chemistry is there, if you’ve both talked and laughed all night long, then be bold and go in for it. You never know where an innocent kiss could lead.
Listen, smile, ask questions. Show that you’re interested in what they’re saying, even if they’ve gotten lost explaining the intricacies of setting up a server or defining the case law they referred to in their last case.
Don’t, however, let your date become ruled by questions. It should never feel like a job interview or game of 20 questions. Conversation should flow naturally from one topic to another if you’re hitting it off.
Sometimes, however, conversation may be lacking but the physical chemistry is clearly there. Recognize that for what it is and don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ve started a new relationship when in fact you’ve just found a willing booty call. That can be great too, but not if you’re looking for more.
Ignore the three day rule
This rule must have been created in Victorian times, because at what other time has society been so demure about relationships? In fact, Statistic Brain reports that if a man hasn’t called within 24 hours after a first date, then there’s only a 12% chance that he will actually call. (An AOL survey reports that 91% of men will call within three days if they actually like you.) What are you waiting for? Call or message them to clearly show your interest before they move on to the date.
Unless, of course, they’re married. Then message them discreetly through AshleyMadison.com.
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