Ashley Moments Official Ashley Madison Blog | The Five Killer Mistakes Men Make on Ashley Madison
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The Five Killer Mistakes Men Make on Ashley Madison

Online dating can be a minefield to navigate. What should your username be? What do you say on your profile? How do you word your first message? Unfortunately, dating online isn’t like meeting someone at  a bar. You can’t just walk up and say “hi” and let the conversation progress from there, and people have a lot more to consider when deciding whether or not to respond to you.

Figuring out what you’re doing wrong and immediately correcting those mistakes means that you have the potential for a much better success rate than if you’ve been making these mistakes. While there are a number of mistakes that women can make when trying to date online, we’ve noticed that men often struggle with the following five areas.

1. Your Profile

  • Don’t: 

Have a boring, average profile!

Women see tons of profiles, and many of them are either mostly blank or full of cliché answers. You have to put some real effort into your profile to make it stand out in the crowd.

Crafting a unique, well-thought-out profile will instantly give you an advantage over 90% of the other men on Ashley Madison.

  • Do:

Create an interesting/different profile with some humor.

Be sure not to have anything negative in your profile. Example: Don’t talk about how much you hate your job, or how unhappy you are in your life. That will give the impression that you are on the website because of desperation and also make you sound extremely needy and clingy. Keep it fresh, funny, and sexy.

2. Choose Your Pictures Carefully

  • Do:

Have a good, recent photo!

Try a head and shoulders shot and smiling to begin with, whether you want the picture to be public or private. Pick only your best shots; quality is better than quantity.

  • Don’t:

Send pictures of your junk in your first message. In case you’re unaware, women are rarely excited by unsolicited penis. Save those for when the conversation progresses in a sexy manner.


3. Manage Your Expectations

  • Don’t:

Place too high a value on a potential date! This is another common mistake when first starting out.

Your mind plays tricks on you and you can put the other person on a pedestal before even meeting her, especially if you haven’t had a date for a while. Remain focused, but also remember that you haven’t even met her yet.

Also, don’t wait too long to meet! The longer you leave it before you meet, the less likely it is to happen. Forget about emailing for months and getting all worked up over email. As soon as possible, we suggest within the first two weeks, meet for a casual coffee and a chat to see if you like each other. If she doesn’t agree to meet, move on and don’t linger on that rejection. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

This will save you a lot of time, energy, and disappointment.

  • Do:

Treat every potential date as an opportunity for her to impress you as much as you want to impress her, and see if you’re interested in her. But don’t expect to meet the perfect person on a first date. Manage your expectations and you’ll never be disappointed, yet sometimes pleasantly surprised!


4. Plan the Date

  • Don’t:

Let her choose the location.

This is more important than it sounds. Women like to be led by a decisive man. So suggest the place, time and date.  If she can’t make it when you suggest, reschedule to suit her … within reason. She will get the impression you are not timid and are comfortable making decisions.

  • Do:

Make the first date during a week night. This will suggest you have a life and are busy on the weekend. Whether or not this is true, show some confidence in your decision and leave her with the impression that your social calendar is actually quite full. Letting the possible partner know that you have a life outside of just trying to find dates will make them aware of your current commitments with family and friends.

Once you’re on the date, be relaxed! Don’t mention your obligations or that you haven’t been dating for a long time. Just have some fun, talk, and let yourself be happy in the moment.


5. Stick to Your Home Location (or Traveling Location)

  • Don’t:

Message interstate and overseas members!

It’s tempting to do but is a complete waste of your time, energy and focus. Unless you are planning to be in that particular city or state for work, don’t bother trying to build something that in reality will never happen.

Unless you are rich and have a lot of spare time to visit your new paramour, don’t bother with interstate and overseas profiles. Think about this realistically: what are the odds of you two ever actually hooking up?

  • Do:

Only focus on and contact women in your immediate area, or by using our Traveling Man feature to find someone in your vacation or business destination. Keep it within a 50 mile radius from your home, if possible. This will keep your expenses and travel time down.


Avoiding these five mistakes will save you a lot of time, money, and energy with online dating. This will prevent you from quitting before you get the results you desire and deserve on

Most of all, have fun!


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