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The Worst Online Dating Usernames

    Your username is your first “Hello!” to the online dating world, your one chance to make a great first impression—but not every entrance is elegant. When choosing the perfect username, there are a vast number of things to consider.

    The New York Daily News found research that shows that shorter names were more successful for 79% of women, while 69% of men with shorter names found more online success. Meanwhile, The Daily Mail reported that ‘unattractive’ names can get up to 102% less message reads and profile views.

    With that in mind, here are some of the worst usernames we’ve ever come across online. A word of advice: If you see yours on this list, change it. Now. You’re not attracting anyone with a cringe-worthy username.


    Eww. Ew. Ew. We think this is trying to capitalize on Christian Grey’s success, but this is definitely fifty shades of no.


    Do you need help moving or are you looking for a date? Are you the lender or borrower in this situation? Either way this deal sounds a bit one-sided … and creepy.


    It’s fine if you’re looking for somebody to help you with those “nutz”, but that shouldn’t be your opener. Spelling and grammar also make a big difference when it comes to getting a reply, so keep that in mind.


    Now the only thing the person on the other side of the computer screen will be able to think about is how you are absolutely going to murder them. Not the best way to start a conversation.


    It’s one thing to cast a wide net and keep an open mind. It’s quite another to have no standards whatsoever—and announce that to the world.


    Yes, this person sounds very relatable and intelligent. Let’s have a rousing discussion about current events, shall we?


    The online equivalent of announcing your salary every time you go out to eat. If you have to explicitly state it, it probably isn’t true.


    Netflix and chill appeals to everyone, but you don’t want to sound like you’re constantly lazy and looking for someone to pick misplaced chip crumbs out of your hair.


    See above.


    Desperation isn’t a good look for anyone. You need to know your own value if you expect someone else to.


    Sure, he might be a great dad. Sure, he might have been born in 1969. Sure, he might like the innuendo 69. However, in no world should  “69″ ever follow the word “dad.” No no no no no.

    Honorable mentions: CamelToeJockey, poundTown13, ISwallowAllDayLong, and ShartasticX.

    About Ashley Madison is the original online destination for people in sexless marriages and the global leader for extramarital affairs and open marriages. With more than 54 million member accounts worldwide since 2002, Ashley Madison is the premier married dating website.

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